June 16, 2007

I am currently 20 weeks and 2 days, and it's scary.. As I said to someone to day in agreement with a comment they made, pregnancy is now a scary thing and forever will be. It is no longer a exciting happy time. With my history all I can think about is getting past 24 weeks. Then once I say that my brain says even that isn't good enough.. I need to get to 30.. Thirty is the number I need to feel at peace.

I have a doctor appt on Wed and i will be 1 day shy of 21 weeks. So far all "feels" ok and the babies are moving (not as much as I wish they were, i just love the feeling) but I know in time it will be stronger and more intense and I'll probably complain that they move too much in there.

Things so far have progressed along fine. The "pains" I do get are normal pains ie: stretching pains. However a few days ago I think I experienced my first syatic nerve issue. That was NOT nice. It felt like someone kicked me in the butt and the pain just traveled straight down my leg and that someone twisted my knee the wrong way and left it there. OUCH!!!!!

I was limping for a bit cause it hurt to walk. I've also been getting charlie horses. UGH!! They syatic issue was in one leg and the charlie horses (on and off for the past 2 weeks) have been in the other. Lets just say at this point I want to cut the calf portion of my leg off. Some mornings it hurts so much that I sware I can see a bruise from where the muscle was so tight.

I have been trying to drink more water to see if it helps cause I know some days i don't drink enough ( I try I really do) but so far it doesn't seem to do much..
I've also been trying to up the calories I take in. Some days I feel like I eat like a pig and other days i feel like I don't eat enough. My last appt I still didn't gain weight and then the following two weeks I weighed myself and I was up 3. Yeah a whopping 3 lbs. (and that only brought me back to my starting weight cause in the begining I lost weight, i always do) Well I weighed myself today and I was up 10. I drank alot before I got on the scale so I am sure it's off a little, but it still brings me 10 lbs above my starting weight.

We have a really good book all about twins, triplets and quads, and it talks about everything. It is written by a doctor and a co author or twins who have a clinic and deal with just people having multiples now. Although the midwife I saw (for one and only one appt) said I should only gain 10 to 14 lbs for the entire time, the book said at least 45 to 50 being at my current hight and weight. My doctor herself has not given me a number this time around, and so to be honest I am going by the book. I can't see only gaining 14 pounds and having two babies at a really good weight and being healthy. That just doesn't sound right to me. If I got both babies to 5 pounds each, that would give me 10 lbs right there, not to mention the fluid, placenta, and other stuff. To be honest, i think the midwife was a bit off.. No actually a lot off.

As long as there healthy and growing I'm not overly worried about it. but in the mean time for the first time in my life I am actually working at trying to gain weight. This is an odd thing for me considering I use to be over 320 pounds and lost 125 a few yrs ago. To try and gain seems like a game now, but it's fun at times. i don't feel guilty eating what ever I want (as long as it doesn't make me sick) and YES people at 20 weeks I still get queezy and toss my cookies from foods I eat or things I smell.. I thought by now it would be smooth sailing with that, but boy was I wrong.

I'll let you all know wed what the doc says..
"Deep Breath" "one day at a time" Right...