Well my first day back to work was last thursday and it went fine. Considering my job doesn't consist of a lot of walking or any lifting I assumed being back to work would go smooth. I waited til Thursday to go back for two reasons. 1 I ran out of time to use at work, and 2 I was just so tired and still a bit achy that I didn't want to "push it"..
So far I have not had any issues. No bleeding or major pains. The only "pains" I do get are mild and feel like stretching pains and that would just about be right since I am already showing. My belly has popped and you can now tell I am pregnant. It's funny cause it took a while the other times and this time it seemed much sooner. I figure it's cause I am having twins and it's my 4th pregnancy (two of which I reached 20 or more weeks) so my belly just knows what to do at this point.
Other then that I do feel good for the most part. I do no lifting just because I don't want to risk it, although i was told to "live normally" Normal to me means if your pregnant you don't lift things and you take it easy if possible. Well that is what I am doing, to the best that I can.
My mom was up most of last week so she helped a lot with Aiden so that was nice. I find that my energy still has not returned yet and I am still very tired. I try to sleep at night but scince I am such a light sleeper and hear everything, I am always waking up wither for Aiden, the cat, or some drunk guy yelling outside at 2:30am.. (long story, lets just say there is a bar a ways down the street and someone was not happy) of course no one else heard him..
Well that's about it, I go back to the doc on May 9th and she will then do another ultrasound and check the babies and my cervix. As I get news, (or need to vent) I will post..
Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
April 23, 2007
Day 3 and it's so much better. I'm still not 100% but way better then I was the first night.
The surgery itself was a piece of cake. I felt nothing. And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING! They had started and were working on me for about 10 mins and I didn't even know.
It did however take about 5 hours for the spinal to wear off. Unsually it's about 2 and a half I guess for some people but who knows maybe they gave me a bit extra cause I was numb for a while.
I finally got to come home at about 6pm and when I left there the pain on a scale of 1 to 10 was about a 3 or 4. A few hours after being home it was about a 6 and by bed time a 8 or higher. With no pain meds it made for a very uncomfortable and sore night with (I'll admit) some tears. All they gave me was 800 mg motrin which to be honest did nothing. I took them in hope it would help but the pain over road every feeling I had. It really was not a fun or good night. The next day I was still uncomfortable and it still hurt but by late afternoon as long as I could find a position in bed and stay still the pain was so much better.
I know the doctor said live life normally once I was home just no lifting, but really, there was no normalcy happening for me. I felt like I wanted to jump off the nearest bridge. UGH !!
Last night sleep was much better and when I woke up this morning I feel better too. I can sit up with out feeling pressure and discomfort and when I walk around it's not as hard as it was before. I can still tell pretty quickly if I am standing or walking too much but all in all it's a much better day and to boot it's going to be about 80 degrees out side today.
My plan is to go back to work Wednesday morning so hopefully when I get up tomorrow I will feel 100% again. We'll see..
Chuck asked me the other day if I felt "safer" now with the stitch in, and my answer then was I feel nothing but pain and can't even think about anything else. Now I feel better but I won't feel completely comfortable until my next appt and I see those babies on the screen and know that they are ok. The nurse was suppose to check them before I left the hospital and forgot and to be honest I was still feeling a bit numb, tired and achy that I forgot until we got in the car and started driving home or I would of said something. So now it'a a waiting game until I see the doc on May 9th. Then I will feel better... I know one day at a time right..
The surgery itself was a piece of cake. I felt nothing. And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING! They had started and were working on me for about 10 mins and I didn't even know.
It did however take about 5 hours for the spinal to wear off. Unsually it's about 2 and a half I guess for some people but who knows maybe they gave me a bit extra cause I was numb for a while.
I finally got to come home at about 6pm and when I left there the pain on a scale of 1 to 10 was about a 3 or 4. A few hours after being home it was about a 6 and by bed time a 8 or higher. With no pain meds it made for a very uncomfortable and sore night with (I'll admit) some tears. All they gave me was 800 mg motrin which to be honest did nothing. I took them in hope it would help but the pain over road every feeling I had. It really was not a fun or good night. The next day I was still uncomfortable and it still hurt but by late afternoon as long as I could find a position in bed and stay still the pain was so much better.
I know the doctor said live life normally once I was home just no lifting, but really, there was no normalcy happening for me. I felt like I wanted to jump off the nearest bridge. UGH !!
Last night sleep was much better and when I woke up this morning I feel better too. I can sit up with out feeling pressure and discomfort and when I walk around it's not as hard as it was before. I can still tell pretty quickly if I am standing or walking too much but all in all it's a much better day and to boot it's going to be about 80 degrees out side today.
My plan is to go back to work Wednesday morning so hopefully when I get up tomorrow I will feel 100% again. We'll see..
Chuck asked me the other day if I felt "safer" now with the stitch in, and my answer then was I feel nothing but pain and can't even think about anything else. Now I feel better but I won't feel completely comfortable until my next appt and I see those babies on the screen and know that they are ok. The nurse was suppose to check them before I left the hospital and forgot and to be honest I was still feeling a bit numb, tired and achy that I forgot until we got in the car and started driving home or I would of said something. So now it'a a waiting game until I see the doc on May 9th. Then I will feel better... I know one day at a time right..
Saturday, April 21, 2007
April 21, 2007
SO here's up update... I feel great, like I never had a procedure done... Oh wait that is because I didn't.. I got bumped.. After sitting there for a few hours, not having water or food for about 13 plus, my doctor comes out fuming.. Yes she was angry! Someone had moved me on the schedule to Thursday and never informed her. THe rescheduled someone else for 1:30, who in fact got bumped too due to an emergency delivery. So I drank about a half a bottle of water in 2.2 seconds and inhaled a south beach peanut butter bar and we talked.
NOW.. the plan was to come in this morning at 8 AM and I am scheduled for 9 AM!.. Ugh!!
No eating or drinking after midnight, which is not as bad as last time, and hopefully all will go off with out an issue this time. So that was my day. A field trip to the hospital to pay for parking so I could sit there and starve myself.. Fun eh? Not really.. And today I get to do it all over again.. Just think now I'll have to take Tuesday off of work too.. Oh what a shame.. ha ha
Well wish me luck for attempt number 2.. and I will be sure to post as soon as I can.. Right now I am off to the shower and then to the hospital.. Oh how exciting LOL..
NOW.. the plan was to come in this morning at 8 AM and I am scheduled for 9 AM!.. Ugh!!
No eating or drinking after midnight, which is not as bad as last time, and hopefully all will go off with out an issue this time. So that was my day. A field trip to the hospital to pay for parking so I could sit there and starve myself.. Fun eh? Not really.. And today I get to do it all over again.. Just think now I'll have to take Tuesday off of work too.. Oh what a shame.. ha ha
Well wish me luck for attempt number 2.. and I will be sure to post as soon as I can.. Right now I am off to the shower and then to the hospital.. Oh how exciting LOL..
Friday, April 20, 2007
April 20, 2007
The Big Day!
Well it's 8:56 AM and I am home doing some pick up and cleaning because I know I will not be able to do it later and if this house is super messy it will bug me. So i am getting what I can get done, done now. Daddy took Aiden to his doctor appointment and i stayed home to finish the cleaning stuff. It bugs me much more then him so I wanted to get it done.
He asked me if I was nervous last night cause I couldn't sleep and I said no. As I sit here I'm still not really nervous. I feel fine about the procedure. In a way, since I have read so much about it on the internet and other peoples stories, it makes me feel a little bit better. That there will be something helping me out, and that I am doing everything in my own power to keep these babies in for the long haul.
Honestly the hardest part right now is that since my surgery is not scheduled until 1:30pm (I have to be there by noon) I am dying for a drink. (water people... H2O.. not alcohol)
I am not allowed any food or water after 4:30 this morning and you know what it's like to be super thirsty and not be able to drink what is around you. I can get my mind off food but not water. It's killing me.. UGH!!!
Once I check in they will hook me up to an IV and myabe that will help but I doubt it.. part of it now is mind over matter. i want it and can't have it so I want it even more.
i am hoping my OR time doesn't get bumped. They said it's a chance if a lot of people come in having babies today. Well hopefully those babies can wait to be born tonight or tomorrow.. HA HA so i can get in and get out and get home and have WATER !!!!!!
Yes I know I am obsessing..
SO wish me luck, and I will fill you all in once I can get to the computer and blog again.
Til then
xoxo
Well it's 8:56 AM and I am home doing some pick up and cleaning because I know I will not be able to do it later and if this house is super messy it will bug me. So i am getting what I can get done, done now. Daddy took Aiden to his doctor appointment and i stayed home to finish the cleaning stuff. It bugs me much more then him so I wanted to get it done.
He asked me if I was nervous last night cause I couldn't sleep and I said no. As I sit here I'm still not really nervous. I feel fine about the procedure. In a way, since I have read so much about it on the internet and other peoples stories, it makes me feel a little bit better. That there will be something helping me out, and that I am doing everything in my own power to keep these babies in for the long haul.
Honestly the hardest part right now is that since my surgery is not scheduled until 1:30pm (I have to be there by noon) I am dying for a drink. (water people... H2O.. not alcohol)
I am not allowed any food or water after 4:30 this morning and you know what it's like to be super thirsty and not be able to drink what is around you. I can get my mind off food but not water. It's killing me.. UGH!!!
Once I check in they will hook me up to an IV and myabe that will help but I doubt it.. part of it now is mind over matter. i want it and can't have it so I want it even more.
i am hoping my OR time doesn't get bumped. They said it's a chance if a lot of people come in having babies today. Well hopefully those babies can wait to be born tonight or tomorrow.. HA HA so i can get in and get out and get home and have WATER !!!!!!
Yes I know I am obsessing..
SO wish me luck, and I will fill you all in once I can get to the computer and blog again.
Til then
xoxo
Thursday, April 19, 2007
April 19, 2007
Sooo.. and the road once traveled is traveled once more.
People always say that pregnancy is such a joyous thing. You have a glow and it's just amazing. Well as amazing as it may be, I dont think they have ever driven the road Ive been on the last few years.
Our first pregnancy was in 2003, and as scary as it was, I was so excited to be a mom. I yelled it out to the world and told everyone who would listen. To only then have it shattered when I miscarried at 10 weeks.
Our second pregnancy was in 2005, and as excited as I was I was even more scared. We told a few people until I got past 10 weeks then once again I told everyone. What was the harm after 13 weeks I thought. We are now in our second trimester and what could go wrong. Famous last words.
I hit 20 weeks and went into full labor. Long story short, my son was born at 20 weeks, Charles Preston 06/23/05 15 ounces and 9 1/2 inches long, and although alive, soon passed due to immaturity. This was the biggest heart break and worst thing to ever happen to me in my life. I don't wish the loss of a child on anyone ever. It's just wrong. It took me a long time to get it together but I did the best I could.
In March or 2006 i found myself once again pregnant and this time I was too scared to be excited. I got a high risk specialist, did everything they told me, had ultrasounds every appointment and even started to see the doc every week once I hit 18 week. Then we passed 20 weeks and there was a bit of relief. However I knew from the past that this baby had to be at the very least 24 weeks for him to have a chance and even then it's a slim chance.
So we progressed along and I went in for my 24 week appt. Now finally a bit more relaxed since I thought in my head it's smooth sailing from here. (silly girl I was) Well the doc comes in we talk, she checks me and I'm 2 cm dialted.. WHAT!!! not again.
So I'm put on bed rest, no walkign , no sitting up, no nothing. Bed or couch, laying down on a perm basis and hanging out til this baby comes. We hoped for 6 weeks, we got 3 days.
Aiden Kristopher was born at 24 weeks, 3 days 06/11/06 1 pound 6 1/2 ounces and 12 1/2 inches long. He was so tiny to them but so big to me compared to Chase.
Aiden spent 150 days in the NICU and by the grace of god is here with us today. (if interested you can read more at www.aidenkristopher.blogspot.com )
Now it's 2007 and guess what.. Yeah you guessed it, we are pregnant again. Why else would I be blogging. And to our surprise it's TWINS! This came as a big shock cause we didn't expect that at all. Of course you joke about it but I never really thought there could be two babies in there until my 8 week appointment and the doc did an ultrasound. Umm yeah I saw two and said it before she could even confirm. I was in awe!
Our plan.. Besides being scared to my wits end, we are taking one day at a time.
I just had my 12 week appointment yesterday and both babies look fine and the heartbeats are strong.
Tomorrow we have a cerclage planned and that is a procedure they do in the OR to stitch your cervix. They are hoping this will keep me from going into pre term labor and dialating to early.
However here is the kicker that I struggle with. Yesterday at my appointment the doc gave me the option to have selective reduction. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is when they go in and "reduce" the number of babies you are carrying. Most common it is done with people who have 4, 5, or 6 in there.. Sometimes with triplets too.
In my case it was offered due to my history, it would give me a much better chance to have a full term healthy baby it I was to carry just one.
But how do you choose. How do you choose to abort one and keep one. Obviously I said no, and I know for some people that might sound selfish cause I am taking the chance away for one baby to have a healthy long pregnancy. But in my heart I just can't do it.
The struggle isn't the question of what I feel is right, it's the question of what is right, and who is to decide that. Am I being selfish? Am I putting both babies at risk because I choose not to take the life away from the other? In a sense, yes, I guess I am.
But if you were in my shoes and saw your babies on ultrasound, and knew as of right now they were both doing good. That this all happed naturally and in a sense is a amazing in it's own. How do you do it. How do you keep one and not both. How do you not give both the best chance you can give them?
I know the doctors study medicine and they try to give you all the best options. I know this option would give me the best chance to carry longer, but it's not with out risk either. There is a chance after the fact that you could miscarry the other baby and that is something else i could not live with.
So this is my story.. My walk down a long bumpy road.. One day at a time..
People always say that pregnancy is such a joyous thing. You have a glow and it's just amazing. Well as amazing as it may be, I dont think they have ever driven the road Ive been on the last few years.
Our first pregnancy was in 2003, and as scary as it was, I was so excited to be a mom. I yelled it out to the world and told everyone who would listen. To only then have it shattered when I miscarried at 10 weeks.
Our second pregnancy was in 2005, and as excited as I was I was even more scared. We told a few people until I got past 10 weeks then once again I told everyone. What was the harm after 13 weeks I thought. We are now in our second trimester and what could go wrong. Famous last words.
I hit 20 weeks and went into full labor. Long story short, my son was born at 20 weeks, Charles Preston 06/23/05 15 ounces and 9 1/2 inches long, and although alive, soon passed due to immaturity. This was the biggest heart break and worst thing to ever happen to me in my life. I don't wish the loss of a child on anyone ever. It's just wrong. It took me a long time to get it together but I did the best I could.
In March or 2006 i found myself once again pregnant and this time I was too scared to be excited. I got a high risk specialist, did everything they told me, had ultrasounds every appointment and even started to see the doc every week once I hit 18 week. Then we passed 20 weeks and there was a bit of relief. However I knew from the past that this baby had to be at the very least 24 weeks for him to have a chance and even then it's a slim chance.
So we progressed along and I went in for my 24 week appt. Now finally a bit more relaxed since I thought in my head it's smooth sailing from here. (silly girl I was) Well the doc comes in we talk, she checks me and I'm 2 cm dialted.. WHAT!!! not again.
So I'm put on bed rest, no walkign , no sitting up, no nothing. Bed or couch, laying down on a perm basis and hanging out til this baby comes. We hoped for 6 weeks, we got 3 days.
Aiden Kristopher was born at 24 weeks, 3 days 06/11/06 1 pound 6 1/2 ounces and 12 1/2 inches long. He was so tiny to them but so big to me compared to Chase.
Aiden spent 150 days in the NICU and by the grace of god is here with us today. (if interested you can read more at www.aidenkristopher.blogspot.com )
Now it's 2007 and guess what.. Yeah you guessed it, we are pregnant again. Why else would I be blogging. And to our surprise it's TWINS! This came as a big shock cause we didn't expect that at all. Of course you joke about it but I never really thought there could be two babies in there until my 8 week appointment and the doc did an ultrasound. Umm yeah I saw two and said it before she could even confirm. I was in awe!
Our plan.. Besides being scared to my wits end, we are taking one day at a time.
I just had my 12 week appointment yesterday and both babies look fine and the heartbeats are strong.
Tomorrow we have a cerclage planned and that is a procedure they do in the OR to stitch your cervix. They are hoping this will keep me from going into pre term labor and dialating to early.
However here is the kicker that I struggle with. Yesterday at my appointment the doc gave me the option to have selective reduction. For those of you who don't know what this is, it is when they go in and "reduce" the number of babies you are carrying. Most common it is done with people who have 4, 5, or 6 in there.. Sometimes with triplets too.
In my case it was offered due to my history, it would give me a much better chance to have a full term healthy baby it I was to carry just one.
But how do you choose. How do you choose to abort one and keep one. Obviously I said no, and I know for some people that might sound selfish cause I am taking the chance away for one baby to have a healthy long pregnancy. But in my heart I just can't do it.
The struggle isn't the question of what I feel is right, it's the question of what is right, and who is to decide that. Am I being selfish? Am I putting both babies at risk because I choose not to take the life away from the other? In a sense, yes, I guess I am.
But if you were in my shoes and saw your babies on ultrasound, and knew as of right now they were both doing good. That this all happed naturally and in a sense is a amazing in it's own. How do you do it. How do you keep one and not both. How do you not give both the best chance you can give them?
I know the doctors study medicine and they try to give you all the best options. I know this option would give me the best chance to carry longer, but it's not with out risk either. There is a chance after the fact that you could miscarry the other baby and that is something else i could not live with.
So this is my story.. My walk down a long bumpy road.. One day at a time..
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