October 3, 2007

I saw the girls last night, I got in about 6:15 and couldn't hold Riley cause of the, once there feeding we leave them alone rule. (it really depends on the nurse) I felt so bad cause she was wide awake and holding my hand and staring at me like why are you not taking me out mommy. So I waited it out til her next feed at 9.
Morgan got fed at 8 and I took her out, we changed her, took her temp and weight and dressed her. Then i tried to bottle her (not breatfeed) so I could see how much she took. Not so bad she took 21 for me, which is about half for her. A full feed for Morgan is 43ml's.

We hung out til 9 and it was Ri's turn. Same routine and in the mean time I let Annette (Aiden's godmother) hold Morgan (something some nurses frown on but too bad I say.) Then we tried to bottle Ri. No such luck, she took 2, and well I think most of that was on the bib, she wanted no part of the bottle.. I was bummed out...
It's so hard when you just want to show them how it's done. You just want to give them your knowledge and tell them once you get this you can come home baby girl. UGH!!!

I am taking it one day at a time cause it's all I can do, but please pray that they get it soon. It's heart wrenching to not have them home, to not see them everyday and to have them struggle no matter how little the struggle is compared to some. I've been down the super roller coaster ride of the NICU and all it's struggles, I don't wish it upon anyone, and although this NICU stay should be a breeze, I still hurt inside not having my babies home with there family.